Dorque Humor

Note: Some of these conversations may have been edited for conciseness.

(On the phone)
Iván: I'm going to eat sneakers.
Cherry: Whaaaaaat???
Iván: Sneakers! The candy bar!
Cherry: Snickers...

[22:40:10 PM] voodoo8179: im on the highway tomorrow :-)
[22:40:32 PM] voodoo8179: i think my teacher is gonna kill me :-/
[22:40:49 PM] voodoo8179: he seems to be very confused about whether the gas is good or bad
[22:40:54 PM] voodoo8179: b/c half the time he's like
[22:41:00 PM] voodoo8179: gas! gas! go faster! drive aggressively!
[22:41:03 PM] voodoo8179: and the other times he's like
[22:41:10 PM] voodoo8179: slow down! you're going too fast!
[22:41:22 PM] voodoo8179: but usually he doesn't like it
[22:41:25 PM] voodoo8179: yesterday he wus like
[22:41:33 PM] voodoo8179: "do not hit the gas. the gas is your enemy."
[22:41:39 PM] voodoo8179: and today he said
[22:42:03 PM] voodoo8179: "gas is like the fruit in the garden of eden. one bite, and you're doomed forever"
[22:42:09 PM] voodoo8179: "bad gas! bad bad bad gas!"
[22:42:17 PM] voodoo8179: he started shaking his finger at the gas pedal
[22:42:37 PM] voodoo8179: it would have been pretty funny, except we were already going only like, 10 mph

[15:49:57 PM] Nullo more: paperclips bent into hooks...those can be hung onto the doorframe
[15:50:05 PM] Nullo more: we used to do that too when we ran out of rape
[15:50:07 PM] EvEnTiNeThEeLf: theres no where to hook
[15:50:08 PM] Nullo more: *tape!!!!
[15:50:10 PM] Nullo more: tape!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[23:08:35 PM] BenSel: Yeah...Occum's Razor never loses
[23:08:38 PM] Nullo more: Occam
[23:08:43 PM] BenSel: Or Occam..
[23:09:02 PM] BenSel: Whatever...as long as it leaves my skin all smooth and stuff

[23:43:17 PM] Exadon: OOH look at my big font..I know you want this...

[22:09:18:PM] bensel: So I have to finish the application
[22:09:49:PM] bensel: To Yale -_-
[22:09:58:PM] bensel: I'm preparing myself for a very cruel rejection
[22:10:10:PM] bensel: A postcard
[22:10:22:PM] bensel: With a picture of the entire admissions office giving me the finger

[02:07:26 AM] Exadon: you are in my heat Cherry, Sweet dreams.
[02:07:33 AM] Nullo more: LOL
[02:07:40 AM] Exadon: AHH!
[02:07:42 AM] Exadon: in my heat!
[02:08:03 AM] Exadon: lol...I really did mean heart...

[23:53:00 PM] Nullo more: where do you work?
[23:53:05 PM] Exadon: -_-
[23:53:10 PM] Exadon: you dont wanna know
[23:53:27 PM] Nullo more: radio shack still?
[23:53:31 PM] Exadon: yeah..
[23:53:40 PM] Nullo more: =) you got questions? we don't care.
[23:53:46 PM] Exadon: lol -_-
[23:53:49 PM] Exadon: its so true
[23:54:01 PM] Exadon: I am to the point where I hate people when they walk in the door
[23:54:06 PM] Nullo more: something tells me you're not the employee of the month

[00:38:01 AM] Nullo more: my computer room was pitch black and the icq was making a knocking noise...i flipped out cuz i thought someone was knocking on my window
[00:38:07 AM] Duckman1221: ...

[10:26:46 AM] Exadon: mmmmm, I had your shit again last night
[10:26:55 AM] Nullo more: wuh..??!!
[10:27:02 AM] Exadon: shirt!

[19:19:34] Exadon: yellow shit again! XD
[19:19:39] Nullo more: -____-
[19:19:42] Nullo more: yellow shit, eh?
[19:19:46] Exadon: shirt!!
[19:19:48] Exadon: ahh not again!!

[23:11:08 PM] Exadon: Im having chinese for dinner
[23:11:18 PM] Nullo more: YOU BARBARIAN

[22:47:59 PM] Exadon: "raise your left hand"
[22:48:07 PM] Exadon: Cherry :son of a...
[22:48:26 PM] Exadon: *cherry puts both hands up* : one of them has to be left

[21:51:10 PM] Rush 613: oh, when i'm a marginally successful manhattan doctor, i think i should do something malicious and clever
[21:51:19 PM] Rush 613: but that's after i get my elevated kitchen
[21:51:26 PM] Nullo more: like what? begin implanting chips in ppl you treat?
[21:51:54 PM] Rush 613: maybe
[21:51:57 PM] Rush 613: that's a good idea
[21:52:10 PM] Nullo more: =D give me credit!

[23:52:41 PM] Nullo more: you're a fool!
[23:52:41 PM] smarterchild: What? Aren't we going to be friends?

[22:43:30 PM] Exadon: whos your dady
[22:43:45 PM] Nullo more: erm...my father is...O_o? why?
[22:44:03 PM] Exadon: whos your daddy
[22:44:12 PM] Nullo more: my father is!
[22:44:18 PM] Nullo more: i already told you this, aiyah!
[22:45:26 PM] Exadon: ooh ok

[21:11:45 PM] Exadon: one day in the future, they will teach 1337 talk in schools
[21:11:47 PM] Exadon: oh yes
[21:12:14 PM] Exadon: billy "Hi, I am 1338"
Teacher "Damnit BILLY its 1337!!"

[00:18:59 AM] Nullo more: will you marry me?
[00:18:59 AM] smarterchild: You're nice, but I don't see that working out.
[00:19:04 AM] Nullo more: i'm into fast hard drives
[00:19:04 AM] smarterchild: You are into fast hard drives! Well well well.
[00:19:08 AM] Nullo more: your parents would like me
[00:19:08 AM] smarterchild: What about my parents?
[00:19:13 AM] Nullo more: i'd never cheat on you
[00:19:13 AM] smarterchild: Oh really?
[00:19:14 AM] Nullo more: yeah
[00:19:15 AM] smarterchild: You don't say.
[00:19:16 AM] Nullo more: marry me!
[00:19:17 AM] smarterchild: You're human, I'm machine. I don't think that would work out.

[22:41:04 PM] Exadon: *ahem* whispers* what the heck is a clique
[22:41:25 PM] Nullo more: a place for people to worship you
[22:42:08 PM] Exadon: cooool
[22:46:39 PM] Exadon: ok Im making one mahaha
[22:47:03 PM] Nullo more: dorQue! i hope nobody joins yours = P
[22:47:12 PM] Exadon: lol
[22:47:19 PM] Exadon: *sniff* you guys will right?
[22:47:22 PM] Exadon: you are my sistas
[22:47:47 PM] Nullo more: um...suuuuuure...:::patpatpat::: get back in your straightjacket now
[22:47:56 PM] Exadon: ok!
[22:48:08 PM] Exadon: can you zip it up, and strap it up for me
[22:48:15 PM] Exadon: after my hands are in its hard to get with my mouth
[22:48:19 PM] Nullo more: -___-

[19:28:58 PM] Nullo more: that's not my conscience, that's my stomach. i'm just hungry =\

[21:15:58 PM] Rush 613: am i one of ur guy friends?
[21:16:04 PM] Nullo more: no
[21:16:07 PM] Rush 613: I SHOULD BE BITCH!
[21:16:09 PM] Rush 613: :)
[21:16:20 PM] Nullo more: now you're definitely not

[23:16:57:PM] Exadon: I am Exadon
[23:17:01:PM] Exadon: *strikes a pose*

[23:17:32 PM] FLYING MILKMAN1: i saw a pic of britney spears she was holding a dic, she had cum drippen from the side of her mouth and it said, OOPS SHE DID IT AGAIN
[23:17:53 PM] Nullo more: sounds great, where can i get some?
[23:18:16 PM] FLYING MILKMAN1: sum cum
[23:18:24 PM] Nullo more: naw, the pic of britney spears
[23:18:29 PM] Nullo more: i can get some cum no problem
[23:18:36 PM] FLYING MILKMAN1: really
[23:18:42 PM] Nullo more: sure, you can buy it in bottles
[23:18:47 PM] Nullo more: they sell it in the finest food stores
[23:18:48 PM] Nullo more: didn't you know?
[23:18:55 PM] FLYING MILKMAN1: no
[23:18:58 PM] FLYING MILKMAN1: lol
[23:19:02 PM] Nullo more: well now you do
[23:19:03 PM] FLYING MILKMAN1: thats funny
[23:19:23 PM] Nullo more: yeah. even funnier is the fact that they actually have nutrition labels
[23:19:28 PM] Nullo more: i heard it's pretty good for you
[23:19:31 PM] Nullo more: better than milk!
[23:19:34 PM] Nullo more: but not so good with cereal
[23:19:36 PM] FLYING MILKMAN1: lol
[23:19:44 PM] Nullo more: too sticky
[23:20:02 PM] Nullo more: by the way, do i know you?

[16:59:26 PM] Nullo more: you lime ke? i'm cool? XD
[16:59:32 PM] Nullo more: like me
[16:59:34 PM] Nullo more: lime ke
[16:59:36 PM] Nullo more: XD

[21:13:01 PM] Rush 613: if you end up having a kid, can i have it?
[21:13:07 PM] Rush 613: wait...no...it STILL wouldn't be mine...
[21:13:12 PM] Rush 613: fucker.

[21:07:25 PM] Nullo more: i am a wolf
[21:07:29 PM] Nullo more: :::roar:::
[21:07:32 PM] kwikyman1: ooo
[21:07:34 PM] Nullo more: :::leap leap:::
[21:07:35 PM] kwikyman1: so pretty...
[21:07:39 PM] Nullo more: :::bites down on rabbit:::
[21:07:40 PM] kwikyman1: :: pet pet ::
[21:07:46 PM] Nullo more: ::::chomp:::
[21:07:46 PM] kwikyman1: nyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
[21:07:48 PM] kwikyman1: X_X
[21:08:06 PM] Nullo more: >=D
[21:08:13 PM] Nullo more: =[ <<-- my fangs
[21:08:26 PM] kwikyman1: X_X
[21:08:29 PM] Nullo more: XD
[21:08:32 PM] Nullo more: i win i win i win
[21:08:34 PM] Nullo more: muahahahaha
[21:08:44 PM] Nullo more: :::proceeds to munch on bunnies' innards:::
[21:08:57 PM] kwikyman1: x.x
[21:09:21 PM] Nullo more: XD
[21:09:26 PM] Nullo more: lookie bunny
[21:09:40 PM] Nullo more:
() ()
(o.o)
(      )o
[21:09:46 PM] Nullo more: that was before
[21:09:47 PM] Nullo more: and now
[21:09:50 PM] kwikyman1: x......x
[21:10:12 PM] Nullo more:
               () ()
(     )o     (x.x)

[00:12:20 AM] xfortunecookyx:
^_^ <<-- normal
^__^ <<--after holidays
^___^ <<--needing slimfast
^____^ <<-- needing jenny craig
u___________________u <<-- stretched like ronny

[01:36:35 AM] Nullo more: dinnertime!
[01:36:41 AM] Nullo more: :::grabs paul's leg:::
[01:36:45 AM] Exadon: umm
[01:36:47 AM] Exadon: err..
[01:36:49 AM] Nullo more: yum...roast leg
[01:36:52 AM] Exadon: Im not a china man...
[01:36:55 AM] Exadon: I got lots of hair
[01:36:56 AM] Exadon: on them
[01:36:58 AM] Exadon: lol
[01:37:00 AM] Nullo more: eeeeiiiiiiiwwww
[01:37:03 AM] Exadon: LOL
[01:37:08 AM] Nullo more: okay, i'll take the intestines then
[01:37:13 AM] Nullo more: yum, white man liver
[01:37:17 AM] Exadon: -_-

[22:04:29:PM] rush613: jr;;p vjrttu/ jpe str upiz
[22:04:38:PM] rush613: that one said "hello cherry, how are you? "
[22:04:46:PM] rush613: figure out my little secret thing
[22:05:00:PM] rush613: gohiotr piy ,u ;oyy;r drvtry yjomh
[22:05:08:PM] Nullo more: it's random durk
[22:05:11:PM] rush613: that was "figure out my little secret thing"
[22:05:14:PM] rush613: no, it's not
[22:05:18:PM] rush613: random would be
[22:05:21:PM] rush613: tsmfp,

[20:57:06 PM] Rush 613: you feel like you live in the metaphorical toilet of elvis too?
[20:57:22 PM] Nullo more: i hafta say no

[12:16:39 PM] Exadon: brb have to jump off my deck backwards
[12:16:56 PM] Nullo more: ooh
[12:16:57 PM] Nullo more: neat
[12:17:00 PM] Nullo more: break a leg!
[12:20:38 PM] Exadon: back, only broke my shoulder
[12:23:25 PM] Nullo more: =(
[12:23:29 PM] Nullo more: want me to call 911?
[12:23:32 PM] Exadon: lol no
[12:23:54 PM] Exadon: besides, i think its cool that my arm can now touch my feet, while standing